MAC & TOSH

[HAM]

Sittin'in my room, readin' Shakespeare
Cuz I got nothin' to fear
Cuz I like Lars Von Trier movies
Cuz they so groovy
Make me want to go to the movie theater
So I can meet your wife and beat her
Cuz she's such a fuckin' ho
She doesn't know which way to go when she's on the road
On Carroll Canyon Rd.
She just likes to run over toads
Cuz she doesn't have a reason to live
She doesn't have a reason to give you money
She doesn't have a reason to act funny
When she's at the Comedian Club
When she's sippin' on some bubbly soda

{CHORUS}

Where was Gondor?
When the Westfold fell

Where was Gondor?
When the enemies closed in around us

Where was Gon-

Where was Gondor?
When I read Shakespeare

Where was Gondor?
On Carroll Canyon Rd.

Where was Gon-

[MAJESTIC THUG]

Ahhh, yeah!
Mother fuckin' niggaz!
Niggaz! It's a good way to start a rhyme
That's what niggaz do when they got time
When they watchin' slime fall on them kids on Nickelodeon
Niggaz, they don't know they Cambodian
Cuz they get their ethnicities mixed up
Cuz they fixed up with dicks and tits
And all that sexual stuff
But niggaz is tough
They don't realize they got three eyes in their heads
Just like Trioculus in my bed
Yeh, that's right
I'm fuckin' gay niggaz in my bed
With three eyes on top they head
Yeh, fuckin' Trioculus
The son of Emperor Palpatine
Populous

{CHORUS}

Where was Gondor?
When the Westfold fell

Where was Gondor?
When the enemies closed in around us

Where was Gon-

Where was Gondor?
When niggaz was Cambodian

Where was Gondor?
When Trioculus was bonin' me

Where was Gon-

[DAN OTIS]

Gondor!

Y'all motha fuckas can't handle this
When I bring this bullshit on your bus
Sorry for the cuss
Sorry for the rust on your mom's titties
Sorry what I said in front of your kiddy
Do you like this ditty?
So does your daddy!

Yo, your brain is slow
That's f'sho
So let me slow it down for your old
Man
Your old man
So he can understand what I say to your lady
Friend
I'm tellin' her to shut up
All day long

{CHORUS}

Where was Gondor?
When the Westfold fell

Where was Gondor?
When the enemies closed in around us

Where was Gon-

Where was Gondor?
Gondor!

Where was Gondor?
All day long

Where was Gon-

[RICK]

Ever play lacrosse on this street?
Huh?
Do ya?!
Yeah!

That's right, I'm Canadian
I don't talk in that kinda Canadian slang
I don't play hockey
I call it a mockery

What the hell is going on?
I'm awake at 2AM and I'm completely delirious
Yet mysterious
I mean people are looking at me weird
But I don't give a flying fuck

Don't even know what the fuck to say
Just trying to fill up the space

{CHORUS}

Where was Gondor?
When the Westfold fell

Where was Gondor?
When the enemies closed in around us

Where was Gon-

Where was Gondor?
Playing lacrosse

Where was Gondor?
*SIGH*

Where was Gon-

[ELDER YOUNG]

Ey yaw!
I said the early bird gets the worm, niggaz!

Milk-milk, milk milk-milk
Pussy so soft that it feels like silk
Unloading twenty-seven pounds of semen
And I'm gonna send your mother screamin' to her room
Gonna knock her inside the womb
And I'm gonna fuck her in the brain
Gonna give her lots of pain
I'm gonna make her go insane
I just want her to scream and cry
I want to see her die
I want her to be a stupid fucking cunt
I want to see her scream
"Oh, oh, oh, I'm in pain
Fuck me harder, I'm in pain
Nigga please, oh, oh, oh
I'm in the chorus now, oh, oh! *WEEPING*"

{CHORUS}

Where was Gondor?
When the Westfold fell

Where was Gondor?
When the enemies closed in around us

Where was Gon-

Where was Gondor?
When I fucked your brain

Where was Gondor?
Milk-milk, milk milk-milk

Where was Gon-

[TCHUCK]

Waddup, bitches!
I dedicate this to every cripple out there
Named Alejandro

Cripples aren't expected to live through life
Cripples are faced with daily strife
They tryin' to get a wife
But they can't even move
When they're trying to prove
That they can groove on they own
But their chair's on loan
Now, let's talk about the facts
I pay the tax
Yeah you know the one
California State Disability
The ability to buy your ramps
And your stamps for food
It's rude
And it gives me cramps
Just thinking that you all survive
Well I can drive
So take that, cripples!
Here's a gun
So go have your fun in the sun
Pretending to run
Catheter, catheter, catheter, catheter!

{CHORUS}

Where was Gondor?
When the Westfold fell

Where was Gondor?
When the enemies closed in around us

Where was Gon-

Where was Gondor?
Ripping out catheter

Where was Gondor?
Certainly not running!

Where was Gon-

[HAM]
Nigga waddup?!
Stay the fuck off my nuts!
Shiyit!

Strum it!

Breakin' apart yo ass like that fast bass
From the crash class
Mother fucker jump up
Mother fucker get fucked
Mother fucker get high
Mother fucker get sucked
Mother fucker lift a bracket
Mother fucker make some racket
Spittin' rhymes in these wicked times
(Yeah)
Comin' upon your motha
Like a biggity-big brotha
(Yeah)
Rippin' apart yo titties
Like they did back in the fifties
(Show me your double D's
Just like in the Seventies)

[DAN OTIS]
Bitch I know what ya want
Bitch I got what ya need
My face, no your face
Covered in my seed

[ELDER YOUNG]

{CHORUS}
Thanks for holdin' the door for me
I said thanks for holdin' it now
Thanks for holdin' the door for me
You a door holdin' bastard
Thanks for holdin' the door for me, yeah
Thanks for holdin' the door for me now!
You a door holdin' bastard
Oh, yeh!
Niggaz!

Niggaz gonna bring me shit that I want to eat
Niggaz want me to eat they feet
And they meat
But I don't swing that way
Cuz I'm not gay
Not gonna eat people's meat sticks
Not gonna eat people's dicks
Not gonna go through the forest
And eat a bunch of sticks

[DAN OTIS]
Bitch I know what ya want
Bitch I got what ya need
My face, no your face
Covered in my seed

[ELDER YOUNG]

{CHORUS}
Thanks for holdin' the door for me
I said thanks for holdin' it now
Thanks for holdin' the door for me
You a door holdin' bastard
Thanks for holdin' the door for me, yeah
Thanks for holdin' the door for me now!
You a door holdin' bastard
Oh, yeh!
Niggaz!

[ELDER YOUNG]
Ey, yo
My name is Carlos
And I am gonna go to the barrios
So I can go swimmin' with my friends
I'm gonna go in the pool
I'm gonna act like a fool
I'm gonna drool all over your tits, man

How you gonna get raped
When you wanna get your ass fucked?
How you gonna get raped tonight?
(x2)

Yaw
Every time you used alliteration
You forced it upon my face and I said "Ouch!"
You're rapin' me, you're rapin' poetry
You're rapin' everybody who has ever spoken words

How you gonna get raped
When you wanna get your ass fucked?
How you gonna get raped tonight?
(x4.5)

[TCHUCK]
How you gonna get raped
If you're not receiving the rape mask
And all of its exfoliating properties?
How you gonna get raped
If you're not receiving
Any of the things that are aforementioned here?
(x2.5)

You gonna get raped!

Yaw!
Waddup niggaz!
We got Reverend Nelson and Elder Young
Tearin' it up!

[TCHUCK]
Irregartless of what you had perceived
Like Christ, these rhymes are ill conceived
Rollin' down the street flashin' my 35 glock
Mowin' down every fuckin' nigga on the block
I spend my days a calculatin' different angles for my game
I spend my nights a fuckin' every un-tame dame
Rollin' 'n steppin' 'n fightin' 'n killin'
'N liftin' the bracket so high to ceilin'
And you said what?!
(Ohhhhh!)

{CHORUS}
Nagga! (x4)

So if you wanna lift a bracket with me
All you gotta do is come over here and take a piss
Wanna see how it looks down there
I wanna see your pubic hair
You gotta do it for me
You gotta do it for your baby
For your mother and your father
And the rabies that your dog gave to you

[ELDER YOUNG]
You dirty bitch
You're showing me your cunt
I wanna see it
I wanna see you punt that ball
To the hallway over there
I wanna see you tear out your hair
Don't know what shit you're doin'
But you do it so well
Got the pussy lips make me say
"Fuckin' 'ell!"
Nigga please
All I wanna do is get a disease

{CHORUS}
Nagga!
(Come on and count to ten)
Nagga!
(Kudgel, Vardaman)
Nagga!
(Just like the seventies)
Nagga!
(Come lift a bracket with me)

So if you wanna lift a bracket with me
All you gotta do is come over here and take a piss
Wanna see how it looks down there
I wanna see your pubic hair
You gotta do it for me
You gotta do it for your baby
For your mother and your father
And the rabies that your dog gave to you

{INTERLUDE}

{CHORUS}
So if you wanna lift a bracket with me
All you gotta do is come over here and take a piss
(Nagga!)
Wanna see how it looks down there
I wanna see your pubic hair
You gotta do it for me
You gotta do it for your baby
(Nagga!)
For your mother and your father
And the rabies that your dog gave to you

{WHISTLES}

[ELDER YOUNG]
Ey, yaw
(Ey waddup?)
We fuckin' some bitches tonight
(Oh, really? That sounds pretty fun)
You don't wanna see how it gets
(Oh, man I kinda do, actually. Shiyit)
Cunts gettin' all flayed
(Oh, that sounds like a cool time, yeah)
Bitches gettin' sprayed at
(Oh, are we gonna do the sprayin'? Shiyit)
Nigga please
(Oh, well alright. That's cool, nigga please, alright)
My dick is hard already
(Dtsayam!)

Ey, yaw!
My name is Thomas
Ey, yaw! Ey, yaw! Ey, yaw!

My name is Thomas
I am a rhombus
My name is Thomas, yeeah!

Hoes and bitches (x3)

[HAM]
I've got advice for you
Right now, right now
Here's what you gotta do
Right now, right now
Alright everybody
Just count to ten

[ELDER YOUNG]
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Nigga!

[TCHUCK]
Oh my god
You such a fuckin' ho!
That ain't no motha fuckin' way to go!
Oh my god I'm goin' crazy
Now you goin' crazy
And we all goin' crazy
Now it's goin' crazy time

[ELDER YOUNG]
*SCAT*

Niggaz all they wanna do is fuck a bunch of
(Hoes)
Rubbin' all up on my dick until my penis
(Grows)
Get your pussy wet while you are takin' off your
(Clothes)
This is just so lyrical, this ain't no fuckin'
(Prose)

[TCHUCK]
*FRANTIC RUNNING/DEATH*